Be prepared?

Many years ago I read a short, science fiction story about a small town in America and its obsession with being prepared against sudden catastrophic attack whether it be from aliens, the sub-culture that threatened the fabric of the local community or nuclear bombardment by the countries enemies.

In the story the government encourages each town to compete with it’s neighbours to raise the level of ‘preparedness’ which, in turn, leads to an unprecedented level of hysteria and angst amongst the people themselves.

It turned out that this policy was not so much designed to keep communities safe but more to keep them under control by diverting their attention away from what the government was really up to.

All in all it was a depressing piece of fiction particularly as, at the time, we were all consumed by the ‘communist threat’ and the nuclear arms race.

Sadly I cannot find the story now. I think it appeared in one of those magazine anthologies that were popular at the time but it wasn’t, as far as I recall, written by one of the big sci-fi writers (Azimov, Heinlein or Clarke for example).

Over the years I kept remembering the story as the world was exposed to one perceived ‘threat’ after another. I am reminded of the story again as we witness what is happening with airport security in the United Kingdom.

Just to give you an example of how airport security has changed. In April 1968 I was Crew Purser on a passenger ship. The Suez Canal had closed a year earlier and our ships now sailed to Australia via the Cape of Good Hope thereby preventing a call at Bombay where we would normally make changes to our Indian and Pakistani crews. As a result the company arranged for the relief crew to be flown Bombay to London by Air India whilst the crew being relieved would fly back on the same aircraft. The change over took place at Heathrow and I was in charge of proceedings.

I was delayed with the in-coming group and the out-going men boarded the aircraft before I had a chance to say goodbye to them. Without thinking too much about it I walked into Departures and unchallenged (I was wearing uniform) passed through the gate and boarded the aircraft. I introduced myself to a stewardess and asked if I could speak to the Chief Pantryman (the senior man in the departing crew). No problem. Afterwards I left the aircraft and walked back through Departures (again unchallenged) and back to Arrivals to rejoin my in-coming crew who were waiting to board buses to take them to the ship at Southampton.

The rise of the Palestine Liberation Organisation changed all that. After a number of hijackings including the spectacular multiple hijack of four passenger aircraft to Dawson Field in Jordan during 1970, airport security measures were ramped up.

The remains of a BOAC VC10 airliner after it and 3 other hijacked airliners were blown up at Dawson Field, Jordan in 1970. No passengers or crew were aboard at the time.

No-one minded this. We could all understand the reason for it and whilst the security check was quick and non-intrusive we were all happy to go along with it.

30 years later 9/11 and Al Qaida re-focussed our attention to be followed, over the next 5 years, with several other incidents culminating in the July 7, 2005 attacks in London.

Rather than me trying to repeat it all, you should read this:-

Report from The Register

The article raises the suggestion that many of the current security measures are not actually necessary. Is it possible that, just like the sci-fi story, there is some ulterior government motive in implying a danger that isn’t as great as they would have us believe?

Thanks to the lunatic Richard Reid (shoe bomber – failed) we must all now remove our shoes to have them checked for explosives even though the likelihood of successfully detonating such a device is virtually nil. Reid certainly couldn’t do so after several attempts at setting fire to his shoe which served only to alert people to what he was doing.

If it has a metal buckle then your belt has to come off too, leaving you clutching at your pants to keep them up while you shuffle barefoot, like some Guantanamo Bay intern, through a metal detector that has been tuned so high that the fillings in your teeth will set it off. The sharp pointy bit in the buckle is still a sharp pointy bit when they give the belt back so – what is the point? (the pun is unintentional)

Those tiny little ‘Swiss Army’ penknives that just about everyone carries on a key ring are a big ‘no-no’ – nasty, lethal weapons those!

Thanks to the clowns who thought they could assemble a liquid bomb from otherwise innocent looking substances once on board (subsequently scientifically proved to be an impossible task outside a laboratory), factory sealed bottles of water, soft drinks, baby milk, toothpaste, shampoo, shaving cream, after shave, talcum powder – you name it, it’s all considered potentially lethal. And don’t be fooled by the published limits on bottle/package size. Depending on his (or her) frame of mind on the day, the security operative is quite likely to confiscate it regardless of size.

Having had all these factory sealed items taken then you may visit the ‘Duty Free’ shops run by the airport operators to purchase exactly the same items as replacements but at a cost considerably higher than you paid for the ones ‘confiscated’.

Does that sound like a scam or what?

I have a very nice travel pack of miniature toiletries that was a gift years ago when I was a passenger with Emirates Airlines. It is one of the most useful airline gifts I have ever received and I keep it replenished to take it into the cabin with me every time I travel. Or I used to. Now I’m worried that some ‘oik’ at security will take a fancy to it and ‘confiscate’ it for his own use. So now it goes into my hold baggage where it is of no use whatever as a travel accessory.

And what happens to all the factory sealed stuff that is ‘stolen’ from us? No receipt for these items of personal property is issued and I’ll bet that a lot of it ends up on the shelves of the local ‘open all hours’ or even finds its way around the corner and into shops in the departure lounge.

It’s not just passengers that suffer but aircrew as well. The same people who are charged with the responsibility for getting us safely from point A to B in a 100+ ton aluminium tube filled with combustible fuel and travelling close to the speed of sound are being routinely belittled and humiliated in full view of their passengers.

Some carriers do not provide in-flight meals so flight deck crews take things like soup, yoghurt, sandwiches, pieces of fruit, soft drinks et al to sustain them during their working day which can be 12 hours or more.

Guess what? These items too are now routinely confiscated along with things like eye drops for contact lens wearers and even nail clippers. However, if you freeze the soup it seems, ‘that’s OK then, Guv’.

How insane is that?

As one pilot said in an internet forum on the subject; ‘I don’t need to carry anything air side with me if I decide to commit a terrorist crime. All I have to do is take off, gain a little height and then aim my aircraft at a suitable target like the Houses of Parliament. Job done!’

A story that came out of Southampton airport tells of a pilot who had his nail clippers confiscated so he told the security ‘goon’ that there was an axe in the aircraft. ‘Oh’, said the goon, ‘you’re not allowed to have that – it’s a dangerous weapon’. The pilot went out to the aircraft, took the axe and handed it to the security man. He then wrote ‘emergency fire axe missing’ in the aircraft maintenance log. The aircraft was grounded, the flight cancelled and the pilot went home for the day on full pay. It would be interesting to know what the airport operator’s response to that incident was when confronted by an irate airline.

And in that story lies the crux of the problem – the quality of people that are employed as security personnel at UK airports. These days it’s only the (usually) unemployable who would even consider taking on such a job. Not gifted with any intelligence and ‘jobswerfs’ to a man, they are unable to apply reason to any given situation no matter how obvious the answer might be.

‘I’m only doing my job, Guv.’ and that’s as far as you get with them. Their employers (the airport operators) allow them to to exercise their imagined ‘power’ over their fellow man which they do, indiscriminately and with obvious enjoyment. There are also some serious implications of harassment and sexual abuse that the UK’s PC and ‘elf ‘n’ safety’ culture seems content to turn a blind eye to.

Need further proof? Just look at this: Lethal T-shirt (You may get a random advertisement before the news clip).

I bet they don’t talk about their jobs too loudly in their local pubs though.

President George W Bush has a lot to answer for with his (so-called) ‘War on Terror’ along with the political lapdogs who pander to his particular paranoia.

Thinking back to the sci-fi story, isn’t airport security in the UK one instance of ‘preparedness’ gone very badly wrong?

Fair ’nuff

There is a superb clip on You Tube where the late, great Ray Hanna flying a Spitfire parts the hair of a TV reporter whose name I wish I could remember but can’t.

Spitfire low pass

I play the clip regularly because, whilst it looks dangerous, it wasn’t. It’s just very funny.

I played the clip again a couple of nights ago and it triggered a dim and distant memory of a story that my father used to tell about a Spitfire pilot he knew in Germany just after the end of the Second World War.

My Dad, an army officer, was sent into Germany with the occupation forces in 1945. He was based in Iserlohn where he was initially billeted at the Officers Mess. ‘Z’ Mess in Iserlohn had a reputation for being a tad wild.

There was a Mess party every Friday night that usually ran non-stop through the weekend during which just about anything could happen.

The Spitfire pilot was a Wing Commander who, in civilian life, had been a barrister. For this ‘sin’ he was appointed a war trials judge.

The mental stress of being a Trials Judge must have been enormous. Quite apart from dealing with racketeers and black-marketers, he would, fairly regularly, don the black cap in order to hand down the ultimate sentence on a criminal of a different standing.

All of this took its toll and Tubby (that was his nickname) would hit the bottle hard during the weekend merriment that was taking place in ‘Z’ Mess. As the evening progressed he would slide slowly under the table and assume a foetal position clutching his glass.

His great drinking buddy was a Canadian (nicknamed ‘Moose’) who would keep an eye on him and make sure he stayed safe and sound. Tubby was quite small whilst Moose was a giant of a man. At regular intervals he would reach under the table and, one handed, lift Tubby up from under it by the front of his uniform tunic, still in his foetal crouch, to fill his glass before gently lowering him back under the table again.

Tubby’s only response would be to murmur ‘Fair ‘nuff – fair ‘nuff”.

Being a serving RAF pilot, Tubby was required to fly an aeroplane once a month in order to retain his ‘flying’ pay. Because he was tied up with legal matters during the week, the only days he could fly were Saturday and Sunday.

Shortly after my Dad arrived in Iserlohn, Moose invited him to accompany them to a nearby airfield where Tubby was to take his monthly flight check. This was scheduled for Sunday morning. The mess party that had started on Friday night had been a good one and had extended through Saturday night as well.

Early on Sunday morning Moose and my Dad recovered Tubby from his usual place under a table. He could hardly walk and had to be helped to my Dad’s Humber 4 x 4 staff car occasionally murmuring, “Fair ‘nuff”.

A Spitfire was waiting with its engine ticking over when they arrived at the airfield. Moose guided Tubby to the aircraft, assisted him with his parachute, and helped him into the cockpit. The canopy was slid shut and every one stood back and held their breath.

I suppose that, if you can survive six years of all out war, going head to head with fighter pilots who were as good as and (sometimes) better than you, it says a lot about the instinctive way a born pilot reacts when he finds himself in his natural environment.

The Spitfire taxied to the runway and took off. My Dad’s account of what followed would occasionally leave him at a loss for words when it came to describing what Tubby did with that aeroplane.

My Dad wasn’t a pilot so he didn’t have the right names for the manoeuvres he witnessed but from what he told me it seemed that Tubby began his ’show’ by executing a vertical climb immediately after lift off culminating in a roll off the top (or Immelmann turn) leading to a very low pass over the assembled witnesses, some of whom dropped prone as the aircraft passed over them. That’s why the You Tube clip reminded me of the story.

What followed was a classic demonstration of a man in total control of a flying machine. It was a brilliant display of just what a Spitfire in the right hands was capable of. 30 minutes later the final act was a high speed inverted pass at low level downwind along the runway, so low that my Dad swore that there were only inches between the propeller tips and the concrete. Just beyond the runway threshold, Tubby pushed into an inverted 3/4 loop that left the Spitfire perfectly positioned for a gentle landing right on the numbers.

Painting by Barry A F Clark

The aircraft taxied in, the engine stopped and Tubby could be seen unlocking the canopy and cracking it open. Then – nothing.

Moose walked out to the aircraft, climbed onto the wing and slid the canopy open. He lifted Tubby out of the cockpit and helped him back to my Dad’s car.

Then they drove back to ‘Z” Mess to continue the party.

Next morning, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, Tubby went back to being a Judge. Amazingly, he was able to shrug off the excesses of the weekend as if nothing had happened.

As to whether he could remember flying an aeroplane and putting on an amazing display of flying skills the previous day – who knows?

Sometimes shit happens

The crash of the Air France Concorde in Paris eight years ago has become news again.

It seems that the French courts have decided to launch a case against Continental Airlines, two of their employees, two people concerned with Concorde development and one other person who worked for the French licensing body.

Just to remind ourselves – the Air France charter flight departed Charles de Galle on July 25, 2000 at 2:42 pm with 100 passengers and 9 crew. During the take off roll and at a speed of around 180 knots (200+ mph) the aircraft ran over a strip of titanium that had dropped off a Continental Airlines DC10 that had departed minutes before.

One of the 4 tyres on the left side main undercarriage was destroyed and a large (4½ kilo) lump of rubber flew up and impacted against the underside of the wing. The pressure created by this impact caused one of the fuel tanks immediately above the point of impact to explode leaving a sizable hole through which fuel escaped.

The escaping fuel then ignited and a raging fire developed under the wing right in front of the No 1 and 2 engine intakes. This led to a significant loss of power from these engines.

The pilot knew that something had gone catastrophically wrong but could not know precisely what. He was also aware that he was at a point where the take off could not be aborted and took the aircraft into the air hoping to keep it flying long enough for him to reach nearby Le Bourget Airport.

To do this he needed to raise the undercarriage but damage from the initial tyre burst and the subsequent fire precluded this. The aircraft, powered only by engines 3 and 4 on the right side and already well below the speed needed to maintain height and overcome the drag created by the extended undercarriage, was doomed.

Seconds later it fell onto a hotel at Gonesse, a short distance from Charles de Galle airport. There were no survivors and 4 people on the ground were also killed.

Rumours abounded at the time. The aircraft was over weight. The Centre of Gravity was displaced leaving the aircraft ‘nose high’. The aircraft took off with a tail wind rather than into the wind.

The subsequent BEA investigation proved all of this to be false. Up to the point where the aircraft ran over the metal strip lying in its path, everything was completely normal; nothing that the flight crew had done was out of the ordinary.

Enter the ambulance chasers.

What is the point of pursuing this through the courts? What can they possibly hope to achieve? This was an accident – something that could not have possibly been foreseen just like the explosive decompression of the early Comet airliners – like the DC10 that suffered an uncontained centre engine explosion that took out all the hydraulics to the rudder and elevators. The list is long.

To the French judiciary – forget it. Don’t go there.

Bits fall off aeroplanes all the time. That the bit fell off a Continental aircraft which lead to this sad accident is happenstance. To go after the 5 named people could well be construed as vengeance.

Just leave it alone.